Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified).
More coverage at: http://www.onion.com
Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves.
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda.
More coverage at: http://onion.com
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